Ok everyone, far from me to write about something that might start an argument, but here goes: The item below was found for sale on a New Zealand auction site.
I’ll let the description speak for itself (emphasis mine):
“AUDIODESK Systeme CD lathe is a very effective CD sound improver. It bevels and trues the edge of CD’s to reduce laser reflection and vibration. This is the biggest upgrade I’ve heard for the CD format . It’s so obviously better from the first few seconds in a transparent system, my uncut discs are immediately recognisable now & sound less listenable and two-dimensional in comparison. It gets CD closer to high-end vinyl reproduction. Improves bass resolution, detail & dynamics, and reduces “etch” or glare. Blackening the bevel adds weight and smoothness. Soundstage depth & width and space around performers opens out. Similar to the improvement of SACD over CD all without softening or compromising dynamics as some CD mats and other treatments tend to do. Direct copies to cheap cut & blackened-edge CDRs (without even cutting the original) can sound significantly better than the original .”
"…sound better than the original?" Really? how is this even physically (or conceptually) possible? Now, I’m pretty into my audio quality (although obviously not video quality, because I use $1.65 HDMI cables ), but I’m nowhere near the type of nut that buys this type of thing. I really thought this was a joke when I first saw it - but it’s apparantly for real. Someone, please call James Randi .
I’m still wondering which crazy audio device is the biggest audio snake oil around (send me your nominations!), but I still don’t think it could hold a candle to this little piece of technology.
They also go on to say:
"This is a "must have" product for any really interested in maximizing the potential of their CD/SACD collection. the price is reasonable and the construction and presentation of the product is outstanding. This results are simply quite staggering. - Richard S. Foster, HiFi+ issue 44, product of the year award"
Here is a link to that review. Folks, if you’re buying a used car, stay very, very far away from this guy.
Maybe they’d work even better if you hooked up your Ultra Tweeters .
More info here , here and here .
At one point I’m going to compile all the crazy audio devices together in one article.
13 Comments Received
October 7th, 2008 @5:54 pm
For sheer chutzpah, I haven’t seen anything to beat the expensive wooden volume control knob, although the Ultra Tweeter comes close. I wish I could meet some of the people who buy this bullshit; I could get some good laughs while making a pile of money.
October 7th, 2008 @5:56 pm
I love this!
As a true audiophile myself this is just rich. I could start trolling here and reference tube amplification here, but then we’d get into a debate over the quality of sound reproduced with and without sound processing typically included in tube amps.
October 7th, 2008 @7:38 pm
This goes way back to the beginning of CD, this obsessive crap. Anyone remember the green sharpie cure for CDs from back in the ’90s?
October 7th, 2008 @7:39 pm
“Improves bass resolution.” Do you mean in the 01000101 to 01001100 range or in the 00100111 to 10011001 range? That’s awesome!!
October 7th, 2008 @11:29 pm
I have been a long time user and happy customer of the AUDIODESK Systeme CD lathe for many years now. The boost in quality is simply amazing, when I listen to my Beatles CDs now I often get confused about whether I am actually sitting in a room jamming with the Beatles! And don’t even get me started on the improvement to DVDs. Now I used to be a big fan of the Blu Ray and HD/DVD format, thinking the 1080p picture was amazing. But after watching a DVD that had been through my AUDIODESK Systeme CD lathe, the resulting image quality made Blu Ray look like VHS! DVDs treated with the AUDIODESK Systeme CD lathe now look like they are in 2260p resolution, the added detail is just simply amazing, almost like watching a hologram from the future!
I can whole heartedly recommend the AUDIODESK Systeme CD lathe to everyone who is at least an avid fan of music or movies.
October 9th, 2008 @10:51 am
Nice one, audio world. I’m sorry but a CD is sampled (generally speaking in the consumer world) at 44.1khz. There is no physical way to change this, nor is there any amount of lowpass filtering one can do to change the originally digitized Nyquist frequency. I’m sorry but all this product claims to do would only be done by different engineering/mixing and/or a better sound component system, speakers, and a more acoustically interesting space. Alright let’s all make sweet love tonight, all hail the ULTRA TWEETERS!
October 9th, 2008 @11:00 am
I agree with Danny Keaton 200% !!11!!eleven!!!
And not only can you vastly improve the sound of your CDs, DVDs etc.; no, it also works wonders on software CDs! After I treated my Windows installation disc with this marvellous device and re-installed, my system runs without a glitch, while before it crashed several times a week!
October 9th, 2008 @12:02 pm
If you ask me this is the worst (best?) snake oil today:
[b]Teleportation Tweak[/b] - Performed during telephone call to Machina Dynamica. Teleportation Tweak takes 20 seconds. $60.
YEs, thats right….call Machina Dynamica, fork over $60 and the ‘magiclly’ improve your audio system.
October 9th, 2008 @8:56 pm
crazy audiophiles !
November 2nd, 2008 @8:17 am
Forgive them lord for they’re ignorance, has they don’t know what they’re saying … Bunch of ignorants, try it before you comment it… yu might be surprised
May 4th, 2009 @7:03 am
This is pure crap. It’s freaking digital people, it doesn’t matter if lasers bounce around or what not, since the data decoded is DIGITAL the quality of the sound doesn’t change no matter how crappily it is read from the disk.
Anyone with a brain should know this.
May 31st, 2009 @3:42 pm
I have no idea if this product does work or not… but the idea is definitely sound. Before I explain, think about fiber optic cable or the plastic in your car stereo dash — think about how easily it carries the colored light to illuminate your controls. Then, look at the LCD on your computer. It’s no secret that light loves to bounce around in glass and plastic. The argument for improving the sound of cds is to blacken or in this case lathe the disc so as to minimize refractions from the laser that will cause errors in the reading of the disc. This is not a binary 1101 = 1101 argument like your HDMI cables, this is a fact that the actual data stream can be compromised because the laser isn’t reading the disc properly. Now I have no comment on how much this will improve sound quality and I personally wouldn’t worry about my cds (but im a vinyl guy) — but I do have to say, the science is sound. So, just because it seems silly doesn’t mean it is…
May 31st, 2009 @4:49 pm
For the last time, IT’S A DIGITAL DATA STREAM, written with an ERROR-CORRECTING CODE. As long as the number of transmission errors doesn’t get high enough to overwhelm the correction algorithm, the bitstream delivered to the DAC is an EXACT copy of the one that came out of the ADC back at the studio. If the disk is dirty or scratched enough to make a difference, it makes an obvious difference, as in dropouts, not the sort of “Only my Golden Ears can detect it” stuff that audiophools love to jerk off over.
I’ve got to give Teleportation Tweak points for sheer chutzpah. Of course, the Federal Trade Commission may give them something else, like a fraud charge.
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